If you live in South Dakota, I would expect you to consider Sioux Falls as life in the fast lane. Coming from Woonsocket, we would be in the slow lane with your turn signal left on for two miles. Sioux Falls may have the Washington Pavilion, but we have local talent for our community play that is always outstanding and entertaining.
The cast and crew outdid themselves with the comedy they performed this year. It was the tale of six elderly spinsters who had the hots for the macho cop next door. Gayle Feistner in an afro wig played the object of their affection with a straight face and his droll sense of humor to the hilt! The six spinsters stole the show, but the outstanding performance for me was Lisa Snedeker, who was playing a woman so out of her character. Lisa is very comely, tall and thin as a willow. I was laughing out loud just at her matronly dress complete with a “bubble butt”. The opening act with all the lustful ladies at the window fighting to look through the binoculars had tears coming out of our eyes. My favorite line was, “If the cop (Gayle) was a carpenter, he could fill all our holes.” He, he, he!
A note of appreciation is also due to the men and youth group of the Lutheran-Methodist Parish, who took the time and effort to construct a cedar cross for the Easter service and placed it outside to surprise the congregation. That really made you realize what a person enduring a crucifixion went through. A replica of the spike made me weak because the end was not sharp. The blunt end was intended for ultimate torture and pain.
This week has me wondering about the obsession with reality shows. I hate to think I would waste a minute of my time in life on a Kardashian viewing. The thought of falling in love in front of a camera (“Bachelor” and “Bachelorette”) is beyond comprehension for me. I guess I could apply for a show called “The Cougarette”. I would stipulate to the producers that all applicants could not be missing front teeth.
Gay and I would be interested in doing the “Amazing Race,” but I would have to tone it down a bit to the title “The Amazing Walk.” My new digs would qualify for “Design on a Dime” or “Flea Market Finds.” I’m hoping they ask me to be on the Tour of Homes this year. It would be a short tour indeed. I could put out boxed wine and Chex mix.
Progress has been made in the move experience. Moving the boxes of decorative items once again reminded me to go buy some packages of rummage sale stickers. Painting was completed on Sunday, even with all the visitors who stopped by to say hello. Sorry we didn’t have time to have a beer and chat. A word of warning—if you do stop, we will try to put you to work. Our last male visitor of the day was forced to install the fire alarm.
Dee Baby

English usage is sometimes more than mere taste, judgment and education – sometimes it’s sheer luck, like getting across the street. – E.B. White, American writer
When it comes to saying what you mean, punctuation often is as important as the words themselves.
Humorous examples abound of what happens when a lowly comma is omitted.
For instance, look at these two sentences:
“Time to eat, kids.”
Then, omit the comma, and the result, “Time to eat kids” is a cannibalistic thought even the most neglectful parent would not contemplate.
Or this magazine cover headline about celebrity cook Rachel Ray:
“Rachel Ray finds inspiration in cooking her family and her dog.”
Not all that appetizing, is it? But, a couple of commas, and voila! “Rachel Ray finds inspiration in cooking, her family, and her dog.” (Turns out the magazine cover was a fake, which is probably why it went viral.)
Sometimes phrases, not just commas, make all the difference. A number of years ago the South Dakota Legislature passed a bill that affected meatpacker Morrell’s ability to purchase livestock outside the state.
The measure included this sentence: “A packer purchasing or soliciting livestock for slaughter in this state may not discriminate in prices paid or offered to be paid to sellers of that livestock.”
The legislator’s intent was to protect South Dakota producers, but in court, it was determined that the measure included all livestock purchased, even that outside the state, and Morrell’s challenged the law as an unconstitutional restraint of interstate commerce.
Morrell’s won the case. As written, the key phrase, “in this state,” modifies the word “slaughter” and therefore meant that any livestock, even that purchased outside of South Dakota, would be subject to the law. The phrase would have to be placed after the word “livestock” to mean only animals purchased in South Dakota.
And who is burdened with making sure the punctuation and phrases are correct? The Legislative Research Council, a state agency that drafts bills for state lawmakers.
Taking into account that as many as 600 bills may be introduced, that can mean a lot of commas, phrases, and other minefields characteristic of the English language.
There are 22 full-time LRC employees, the smallest agency of its kind in the nation, said Jason Hancock, director.
Smallest doesn’t mean “last,” as we South Dakotans hear all too often.  In fact, given the flood of words that lawmakers labor to introduce each session – and the absence of lawsuits focusing on language – we can be thankful for the dedicated employees of the LRC and simply say, well done!

Easter—a time for new beginnings. My life heads in new directions and so my column has to have a new title. Since the Burlington Northern is a stone’s throw from Dr. Krog’s abode, the general consensus is for this new moniker.
The painting process has begun with the help of Georgia, who was born with a paintbrush in her hand. She is like a professional home interior decorator and she doesn’t charge a dime. My landlord, Kent, was aghast at the rust color I chose for the laundry room and declared it looked like a pumpkin. Thanks to Eric Hill for installing my shades, which I am completely inept at.
I am driven this spring to de-clutter and simplify my household even more. Every magazine is filled with not only recipes, but right beside them, diet stories of people who have lost a 100 pounds and de-cluttering hints. One memorable hint was to pick up each item and if it doesn’t feel magical, ditch it. (Maybe I’m confused and that was a Harry Potter book.)
Spring has also brought on the urge to set goals for myself. One such goal is to hike Harney Peak (and make Cole proud). Another aspiration is to renew my love of bike riding. I have been watching Shain Knutson’s amazing progress of getting into shape and burning up the highways on his bicycle. I’m setting my sights on completing the Tour de Corn in Mitchell. I told Heather I might have to hide my scooter at the halfway point in a cornfield in case I poop out. I have ridden to work a few times. The first day it was 27 degrees, and I really regretted that decision. I can already tell my butt cheeks need a major rejuvenation.
I was so glad the sun showed its face once again on Easter Sunday. It’s always a bummer if kids have to put on snow pants and mittens to find the Easter eggs. Equally bad is having to hide them inside the house, although I have always been up for the old game of “Hide the Thimble”. Now many would be perplexed as to what a thimble is. I had to laugh at itsy bitsy Emery VonEye, who came “loaded for bear” for the Easter egg hunt. The other kids had small baskets, but she was dragging one as big as a three gallon bucket and bigger than her.
While watching the Swenson family egg hunt, I was standing beside Chad Eagle and happened to notice he had some really unusual sunglasses on. I kept my mouth shut about the gold emblem on the side and thought to myself, “Oakley’s must have a new line.” Later, someone did comment on his eyewear and he admitted he was wearing Gena’s! So, a manly man has a sensitive side. Hope he doesn’t wear them coon hunting.
Dee Baby