The Sanborn Weekly Journal staff, which includes, Parker, Rachel and I, would like to thank all of the many people, who are regular contributors, and our weekly columnists, who are so wonderful about helping us fill pages to inform and entertain our readers each week. We know it is a lot of work to put together articles or columns each week or when events occur, but as a small-town newspaper, we wouldn’t be able to put the paper together every week without the help of many, including Dvonne Hansen, Sue Larson, Leora Christian, Beverly Johnson, Dee Baysinger, Sandi Ruml, Judy Wormstadt, Paula Linke, Sherryl Rankin, Janet Maeschen, Vicki Berg Linke and Rick George. Thank you to all the school personnel who make sure we have events covered and help us get pictures of things happening if there are events we don’t get to or students who need to be recognized for something. Thank you to Sheriff Tom Fridley and his staff and TC Coulthard, who have all been so helpful in providing information about things happening in our county where law enforcement or fire fighters have been needed for help.

We also want to thank all our loyal advertisers because, without advertising dollars, we truly wouldn’t be able to publish the paper we work so hard on each week. As businesses close, and budgets get tight, we try to keep our prices as reasonable as possible, and we give deals to clients who will commit to advertising on a weekly, bi-weekly or monthly basis if they commit to at least three months of advertising. Contact us so we can work something out for you, especially if you like seeing the paper. Without advertising, we can’t produce this creative work of art.

Our paper has grown over the past few years, and so has our subscription list. After an area paper decided to go to two days a week of print copies, our list of subscribers increased by close to 20 percent. We had a columnist who just started writing for us this summer who stated that she had no idea how many people read the paper until she started having people stop her on the street to tell her how much they enjoy her column, and one reader told her they cut out her column to save for reference for their own work. So, to those of you who say no one reads the paper anymore, I say, just because you don’t read the paper, doesn’t mean no one reads the paper. We know all too well when we make a disastrous mistake because several people are kind enough to point it out to us, and when something happens in the area that we didn’t know about, we get many questions about why it wasn’t covered in the paper, so we know people are reading our paper.

I realize that the printed newspaper isn’t the main source of information for most people that it used to be, but it is still a vital part of a thriving community. In our case, we are an important part to a few communities, not just one. Students at both schools in the county love to see me come and always ask if their picture is going to be in the paper. We are looking into starting an e-edition, but that will take a while, so in the meantime, we will continue as print only, which seems to be fine with most readers. We have gotten so many compliments on how well we put the paper together, we lost count, and people do comment to us on specific things, so we know many of you are reading carefully and not just skimming or looking at the pictures.

We also know that most people looking for a job don’t normally think to go to the newspaper, but we know that our readers discuss things that are posted in the paper, so people are made aware of job openings by word of mouth, and that all starts with us being a central location to have something posted. Whether it is to find out who has employment opportunities, who scored the most points in a game, what time the poker tournament starts, what happened at the most recent county commissioners’ meeting or who went to coffee last week, people are looking for information in our paper. So, I will say it again; we have many ways to prove people are reading our paper, and if someone tells you that no one reads the paper anymore, the response to that is, “Well, they should be reading the paper because anyone who isn’t is missing out.”

It’s been quite a while since my last column, and people have been asking when I’ll do another, so I figured I’d write about a topic that’s been jostling in my brain: empathy.

Empathy is defined in the Cambridge Dictionary as “the ability to share someone else’s feelings or experiences by imagining what it would be like to be in that person’s situation.” 

I’m unsure whether it’s because people aren’t employing empathy as much as time goes on or if I’m just noticing people’s lack of it now that I’m older, but all too often, I hear people make comments about others being too whiny, or they state how others’ situations could be miraculously solved. These people are making assumptions instead of taking the time and effort to understand and feel what the other person is experiencing. 

When you try to empathize with someone, you take the time to step back from your own assumptions and instead step into the other person’s shoes. How would you feel in that person’s situation? If you’re then inclined to jump to some sort of solution, take additional time to reflect. What are the obstacles and sacrifices to the solutions you come up with? Understand there may be some you aren’t seeing. In addition, understand that, while that solution may work for you, it wouldn’t necessarily work for others. Everyone has their own personalities, their own strengths and weaknesses, their own skill sets. If your car broke down on the side of the road, and an engineer scoffed and told you to just fix it, how would that feel to you?

Of course, recognize that you won’t be able to understand completely what the other person is feeling, especially if you’re unable to ask them questions to help you understand. It’s very easy to make assumptions, so try to keep the disdain that can arise from this to a minimum, reminding yourself there could be more to the picture.

Empathy can help with this nonsensical us versus them mentality in current politics, too. 

In a Ted Talk by Megan Phelps-Roper, she discussed how civil conversations with others, where each party took the time and effort to understand each others’ points of view, led to revelations that resulted in her leaving the Westboro Baptist Church.

She went on to compare her church’s thinking of “us against everyone else” with the political polarization occuring in today’s society. 

“We’ve broken the world into us and them, only emerging from our bunkers long enough to lob rhetorical grenades at the other camp. We write off half the country as out-of-touch liberal elites or racist misogynist bullies. No nuance, no complexity, no humanity.”

Phelps-Roper notes four things which those who helped change her mind “did differently that made real conversation possible:” 

Don’t assume bad intent – “Assuming ill motives almost instantly cuts us off from truly understanding why someone does and believes as they do. We forget that they’re a human being with a lifetime of experience that shaped their mind.” Their point of view could stem from a lack of information, or is well meaning but coming from an angle you’re not understanding.

Ask questions – “We can’t present effective arguments if we don’t understand where the other side is coming from.” Don’t assume where they’re coming from. Figure out why your views differ from one another. Be open to the other person reciprocating questions, as well, as they try to understand your own point of view.

Stay calm – “I thought my rightness justified my rudeness. … Dialing up the volume and snark is natural in stressful situations, but it tends to bring the conversation to an unsatisfactory, explosive end.” Resorting to yelling and name calling is a surefire way to get the other side to dismiss anything you say; it merely corroborates their negative view of you. Staying calm can be hard, especially when faced with the other person’s anger and indignation. Should the conversation become too heated, you might even need to take a break from it and choose to continue the discussion later. 

Make the argument – “We sometimes assume that the value of our position is or should be obvious and self-evident, that we shouldn’t have to defend our positions because they’re so clearly right and good. … But if it were that simple, we would all see things the same way.” Clarify your position and why you feel that way. Instead of prepping your next retort, actively listen to what the other person has to say and take a moment to reflect on any counterarguments made. Accept that your own views may change as new points you never realized are brought up.

Even if you’re unable to change the other person’s mind, remember that they’re still human. Humanity is in shades of gray; everyone has good and bad qualities. Weigh on these heavily if you’re ever considering going as far as cutting someone out of your life.

I understand that empathy can be difficult, exhausting, and, by definition, painful at times, but if people could learn to exercise it more often, then our country, our world, would be a much better place.

P.S. If you have 15 minutes, I recommend listening to Phelps-Roper’s entire Ted Talk at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bVV2Zk88beY.

My Facebook wall, and even my Twitter feed, have been covered with reports and opinions on the rioting these last few days, some condoning such actions, others calling the entire movement BS, and a few calling out the rioting while also sympathizing with the idea that the system does need to be reworked.

I fall among the latter. I don’t understand how rioting is going to help a cause; all it will do is increase the stigma people have for the marginalized group. I also agree with the sentiment that some people don’t care about the movement and are selfishly using it as an opportunity to steal or take out their anger at the world. 

Now that I’ve gotten my stance out of the way, I have to wonder why the riots are all the media seems to be reporting on. Where are the peaceful protests? Where was the coverage of the march that was going on in Sioux Falls the same day as the riot on the other side of town? Where was the coverage of the march in Flint, Mich., where the town’s sheriff even showed his support and joined in? Where was the coverage of the peaceful protesters stopping those trying to incite violence, protecting stores and even handing offenders over to the police like in Washington, D.C.? Where’s the coverage of the officers in many locations across our country taking a knee with protestors?

Instead, most of what I’ve seen reported by big media are the riots, police attacking protestors, rioters attacking police. Because that’s what brings in ratings – sensationalism sells. But this kind of irresponsible reporting just incites outrage and violence and continues to push our country into this “us vs. them” mentality. 

It’s not a surprise coming from the media that already enjoys pitting Republicans and Democrats against each other. That’s why I don’t trust networks like Fox News and CNN that use language to cast blame on the other side. The screenshot included with this column illustrates my point. Neither of these titles tell us about what was passed; instead, they immediately begin attacking the other side. News networks should portray the barebone facts for the viewer to decide how they feel, not portray their own opinions as facts. Be careful not to fall for this trap. Casting the blame on everyone in a single party or group would be like saying “all cops are bad.”

As for the rioting, understand that I’m not suggesting media only portray the “kumbaya” moments, as that would skew the perception that there’s no need for social reform. I just want to see both the peaceful protests and the riots, a well balanced view of the situation. Instead of this oversaturation of anger and despair, let’s bring a little camaraderie and hope into the world.