View from the Barnyard

A Hunting We Will Go

As fall rapidly approached so did the arrival of Corey and his hunting friends. Corey’s mom and dad plus his brother-in-law, Jim, accompanied them also. They generally hunt close to Thanksgiving but are often plagued with bitter cold and wind, so the decision to hunt at the end of October was made. Sure enough our balmy days changed to horrid winds that could blow small children away. I accused Corey of being under a weather curse.
After the first day of hunting, Soop informed me to refer to Jim as “Peaches.” He explained that Jim was blocking but shooting at every hen that flew over. The group reached the field’s end and asked, “What in the Hell are you doing?” It appeared that when Jim heard them yell “hen-hen-hen” he thought they said “Jim-Jim-Jim.” Since Jim is from Georgia they renamed him Peaches.
Supper conversation centers around their hunting expertise or lack of it. Corey had a new excuse for a shooting miss, “I was distracted by three hens.” I prefer to spice things up while preparing supper so I opened the salt shaker and cringed at what I discovered! After the meal I slipped Corey a folded note that said “I found a _____ in the salt shaker. I swear to God I don’t know how it got there.” Corey promptly passed it around the table and soon there were exclamations of, “I never used the salt!” Corey’s mom, Kathy, asked to see the note. I said “Corey, you eat that note like a good spy before your mom sees it.” (Ask me in person about the rest of the story.)
“Cuz” had recently returned from Spain and showed us an interesting, but nasty, picture of a restaurant’s sushi sign. I viewed it and commented that Cole loves sushi. Cuz texted Cole my reaction and sushi picture. Cole had a smart reply (unprintable). (Cuz explained that Europe is much more liberal about sex.) Gay took one look, never blinked an eye and quietly said nothing about the pictures content but said, “I didn’t even know Cole liked sushi.” We erupted laughing.
Any cook will tell you that there is a certain joy in making a meal and watching your guests really dig in. A typical meal I made was two 9×13 pans of meatloaf (I ran out) two 9×13 pans of cheesy hash browns, salad, sweet potato casserole and apple crisp.
Breakfast at the L-K where Luann sets aside their favorite – sweet rolls. My coffee cup one morn had two small children on it. Cuz asked whose kids they were. I replied that they were his from two years ago. Cuz, you may recall is the one I wrote a romantic exposé on his romantic troubles with what I refer to as “That Woman.” He refused to speak to “The Press” ever since. Cuz has an amazing talent ofmaking flowers out of napkins for bartenders. I inquired of Corey how many flowers were made the previous night. Corey related that he was up to a bouquet. Corey then produced a picture if Cuz vacuuming. I commented, “Cuz, you’ve put a new meaning to sucking up to the bartender.”
Thursday night at Skeeters is our designated Grand Finale Night that includes pizza and adult beverages. Cousins Janet and Carli traveled from Sioux Falls to attend the mayhem. First stop was Doren’s Bar and I stuck my head in Jim B’s door to roust him out also. As midnight approached so did the appearance of rounds of shots. (It was agreed that the liquid Cinnamon Toast Crunch did us in.) Carli proved once again that the later the hour the more she can talk. Janet proved she’s not a flamingo ‘cuz when she stood on one foot to remove a boot she fell over. Surprise visitors, Kevin and Ronda Tiede, got a full dose of our late night antics.
I awoke the next morning at 5:00 still fully dressed, clutching my PJ’s in my hands. Carlie awoke fully dressed with her voluminous neck scarf choking her. We huddled over coffee until 7 and then we decided our promise to hunt that day would be welched on. (We talk big with firewater.)
Thankfully Tanner and Lynn Eining filled in to guide Corey and group at Fedora. They were a little nervous on how to find Fedora. I said head east, stay on the Highway and meet at the gas station. Peaches asked how they would know which station. I said ,“You can’t miss it there’s only one.” Tanner and Lynn led them to an abundance of roosters. Tanner related to Janet there were quite a few holes in the sky. Janet texted Corey and told him in order to kill a bird you have to hit the bird with a bullet before it will fall to the ground. Corey texted, “You have mo right to criticize  unless you’re out here.” (Which he stated we will be next year.)
Dead-eye
Dee Baby

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