View From the Basement by Dee Baby


   The Grandkids decorate a tree for Grandma Gay

The Grandkids decorate a tree for Grandma Gay

Generally, advertisements on television and in magazines display a happy gathering of a table of six to 10 people surrounding a perfect (unsliced) turkey. I have yet to attend any holiday where the host or hostess carved the turkey right at the table and hand delivered the juicy slices (false advertisement). Yet, even I had to sit down and fan myself when Mama Gay informed me she was expecting 45 people! My old self would have checked into the nearest hotel to avoid the chaos.
Now I decided I would step up to the plate (no pun intended). I related the number of the crowd to Jim Baysinger and invited him to attend. He became quite pale and politely declined. I also related the formidable amount of cooking we would be doing on Wednesday night and he naively asked why we were doing it the night before when Thanksgiving was not until Thursday. Do men truly believe a meal of that magnitude every year magically appears on the table with 10 minutes of preparation?
I can never make it to mealtime without nibbling beforehand. Nibbling, hell, it’s called “grazing”! Julie Baysinger came up with that lovely phrase years ago and it has stuck. TV reports say the average person consumes 5,500 calories on this day. I like to get a good head start on my count. I really do think it would be a grand idea just to wear a pair of maternity pants for the day with an oversized sweater for extra coverage.
I am waiting for a Thanksgiving where our children take over the cooking and Gay and I would only bring a salad and we can sit and watch the Macy’s Day parade in it’s entirety with a glass of wine. I’m trying to visualize Heather and Cole in the kitchen and I almost start laughing out loud, although I was proud of Cole that he took a store-bought cheesecake to his gathering of friends.
Our families are loud when we get together. We do not sit quietly and make polite conversation. It’s a dull roar and it’s nothing to see a tea biscuit flying through the air to the person who asks for one to be passed. Gay even sat a card table up in the laundry room. I commented that it would really suck to be the person stuck eating in there. Gay got a big laugh out of that ‘cuz she told me it was where she puts the pies.
Sunday morning found Gay and I having our coffee, relaxing and chatting. We were talking about Christmas coming and what to buy. Gay had finally decided to downsize her watermelon collection, so I suggested Hobby Lobby and she agreed she loved that idea and Hobby Lobby. That led me to text cousin Janet and say, “Gay and I want you to say Hobby Lobby out loud five times ‘cuz we think it’s fun.”
She replied, “You two need to get a life.” (That always makes me give her a phone call.) Ah, family and Thanksgiving, it goes so well together!
On To Christmas,
Dee Baby

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