View from the Basement

Stuck in the Middle—March

Yes, that’s exactly how I feel about the month of March. It’s almost like sitting on the edge of your seat waiting for the arrival of spring. Spring is like a shy bride on her wedding night — you never know when she will come out of the bathroom and get into bed. Spring teases us this year with a few warm days with a promise of things to come and then blasts our hopes with high winds.
People ask what I’ve been up to, and I honestly reply, “nothing.” Just biding my time in the basement waiting for the day of my move to Doc’s house. March has been uneventful, but I can relate that last Thursday I used a paper shredder for the first time in my life — still no ATM — and I live in dread of the day they take away checkbooks. Cole was so proud to hear of my latest advancement in technology.
I did manage to shake up the baby shower world when I gifted Karma (Swenson) Oelkers and baby Olivia with the funniest, but the most inappropriate card ever. I put on the outside envelope strict orders that the card was not to be passed around. She defied me and when it reached Margaret Cummins and her eyebrows lifted over her scalp, I skulked quickly out of the building.
I ran a column by Wanda Swenson to see if I could get by the censors, but I don’t think it’s gonna fly. As I informed everyone in a recent column, I had to search for a new doctor. Wouldn’t you know, by chance, that the name is Dr. Peters. Heeeee! After relating to Esther my latest round of indignity at a doctor’s visit, she came up with the perfect title for a column — “Dr. Peters and the Probe”. Wanda shot down that idea by giving me “the look.”
I might be bored, but I still can’t bring myself to watch the Republican or Democratic debates. Saturday Night Live gives a good enough parody of them for me. John F. Kennedy is no doubt tossing in his grave at the mockery of it all. The debates have turned into insult tests with no legitimate issues discussed. I would prefer to send them to Janelle Boschee’s day care so she could straighten them out.
Friday night, I hoped to fill my minivan and go to Nancy Sullivan’s grand opening in Mitchell of “Furnishings on First.” Due to the State B games, only Linda Kilcoin rode shotgun with me. The store is very unique. Nancy and her sister revive old pieces with chalk paint and she has a wide variety of other décor. I always love wine tasting and cheese too! The store is open Thursday through Saturday. Check it out. You won’t be disappointed. Nancy is the former Nancy Allen, Larson, Linke that lived in Woony and Letcher for years. Best of luck in your new venture!
I ended my doldrum week by folding laundry for Gay and was immersed in the tidy whities when I realized it made me kind of uncomfortable folding Kent’s underwear – almost guilty.
Time to move,
Dee Baby

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