View from the Basement by Dee Baby

Never Take a Knife to a Gun Fight

For a long time this issue has perplexed me—people blaming mass killings on guns. I have always had an aversion and fear of guns, but anyone with an ounce of sense should realize that the blame lies with the sick mind of the individual with his finger on the trigger and not on the inanimate object called a gun.
I grew up with playing the game cowboys and Indians (which I now realize is totally politically incorrect) and playing army with my siblings and cousins. I only had a single-shot stick gun and Soop had the only automatic ‘cuz he alone could mimic the sound of a machine gun. Yet, I never recall having any wild desire to go out into the world and create chaos with a mass murder.
I often wonder if I was changed at birth because I of my family am the only one who doesn’t like to hunt or fish. How does one child raised in the same environment turn out to be entirely different? We all grieve for the victims in the news, but I also feel sympathy for the killer’s parents. Certainly no parent raises a child that they love dearly to be confronted with that terrible fact that they have raised a person capable of such a hideous crime. They will probably soul search the rest of their lives for the answer.
Are killers born with a misguided gene in their system? Does environment have a portion of the blame? We hear many theories that before the news media spread these terrible deeds all over the T.V., we were more isolated, many believe in this copycat theory. Others believe that society refuses to take responsibility anymore for their own actions. The blame is placed on parents. I refuse to believe this scenario. I believe every human knows right from wrong (unless you are truly mentally ill), and it’s personal choices that lead them into trouble.
Be that as it may, once again my column has taken off on a totally different angle than I intended. To begin with, I just intended to share a column that Gus and Joanne Nelson sent me that I thought was very good and entertaining.
I definitely believe in this nation’s right to bear arms, even though I have no idea how to put a bullet in a gun. I will be the first person to find somebody with a gun if my life is in danger. I do not believe, though, that people need assault rifles and machine guns—that’s a wee bit on the extreme side for me.
Thanks for the column inspiration! Here it is to enjoy.
Gun Rules
Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading.
In a gunfight, the most important rule is to have a gun!
If you own a gun, you will appreciate the following rules. If you don’t, you should get one, learn how to use it, and learn the rules.
1. Guns have only two enemies: rust and politicians.
2. It’s always better to be judged by 12 than carried by six.
3. Cops carry guns to protect themselves, not you.
4. Never let someone or something that threatens you get inside arm’s length.
5. Never say, “I’ve got a gun.” If you need to use deadly force, the first sound they should hear is the safety clicking off.
6. The average response time of a 911 call is 23 minutes; the response time of a .357 is 1,400 feet per second.
7. The most important rules in a gunfight are:
•    Always Win—there is no such thing as a fair fight.
•    Always Win—cheat if necessary.
•    Always Win—second place doesn’t count.
8. Make your attacker advance through a wall of bullets. You may get killed with your own gun, but he’ll have to beat you to death with it because it will be empty.
9. If you’re in a gun fight:
(a) If you’re not shooting, you should be loading.
(b) If you’re not loading, you should be moving.
(c) If you’re not moving, you’re dead.
10. In a life and death situation, do something…it may be wrong, but do something!
11. If you carry a gun, people will call you paranoid. Nonsense! If you have a gun, what do you have to be paranoid about?
12. You can say “Stop!” or any other word, but a large bore muzzle pointed at someone’s head is pretty much a universal language, and you won’t have to press 1 for Spanish, 2 for Chinese, or 3 for Arabic.
13. Never leave an enemy behind. If you have to shoot, shoot to kill. In court, yours will be the only testimony.
14. You cannot save the planet, but you may be able to save yourself and your family.
Dee Baby

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